Jesse's First Newsletter Chaos

Welcome to the Chaos

You might be thinking, why in the world I would start a newsletter in the god forsaken year 2024 and the answer is actually pretty simple. I was up late in a Discord call with some friends and it seemed like a good idea. I figure there’s something incredibly funny about updating friends and family about my life in their email like some shady ass company trying to sell you something, but instead it’s just me telling you that dating is still going terribly, I’m still looking for a new job, and the overall vibes of 2024 have been rancid.

So here we are. What can you expect from this newsletter? Well, I’ve made a handy list below you can find to outline exactly what I plan to do with this

• Update you on my life

• Provide weird commentary on internet brainrot or my latest hyper fixation

• Sometimes tell you a funny story

• Share things from my notes app or other non important things I think about

The format will never be the same, I will likely not repeat segments because that’s not how my brain works. I’ve been living almost 30 years by doing things differently every week, changing vibes at the drop of a hat, so why make this any different?

Things I found important to write down this week

Here is a list of things I found so important that I had to write them down

My Apartment Lobby

I’ve been living in the same apartment for 7 years now. One of my favorite things about this place is all of the weird shit people leave in the building’s lobby. Sometimes its furniture, one time it was a wooden monkey with a huge penis carved out of a wood. The other night I found a giant box of trophies for various things. Someone won a lot of awards, and then just say nah fuck them kids awards put it in the lobby.

But now I’m wondering who is the person who would pick up a bunch of little league trophies and be like “yeah I got a use for these” like what in the world would you do with those.

It would be incredibly funny to have a trophy shelf of other people you don’t knows awards. Maybe this is something I should look into.

Jeff Rosenstock

I saw Jeff Rosenstock this week for the like 12th time. He still fucking shreds and I highly recommend every listen to Hellmode, his latest album. He’s doing 8 nights at the Warsaw in Brooklyn and I’m going again this week to see him and Pup play together.

Subway Encounters

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll notice the weird man wearing a rabbit hat that was singing on the subway. I was coming home from work, after a 13 hour day and this motherfucker shows up, starts screaming and singing, and then told me I won 300 thousand million Jolly Coins. He sang three songs, one of which had a call and response segment. The lyrics were “I’m gay in a happy way” and the call and response segment was “I’m gay so why do I want to go to McDonalds?” In which case we were supposed to know to say “because you want a Happy Meal.”

Anyway, I found this dude on Tik Tok, so you can enjoy how my evening on the subway went

@jollygump

Platform jolliness #subway #platform #train #nycsubway #bunny #nyc #newyork

Closing thoughts

So yeah, I really don’t know what this will turn into, but maybe I will write about media I consume as well. I really haven’t done much of that lately. I’m just watching old episodes of Hell’s Kitchen because I’m obsessed with Gordon Ramsey smashing Salmon and screaming “It’s fucking raw”

Ok thanks for reading everyone. I’ll send one of these out every Monday at 12 pm EST. Hope y’all have a good week.