Send News: A Week On Long Island

Nothing fancy. It’s been a while and hope y’all have been keeping well. I really just had a blog I wanted to write that was a bit more personal and I don’t think it fit on the page over at work so I wrote it here.

I played a lot of Pokémon Leaf Green when i was home taking care of my grandma last week and felt compelled to write about how much has changed in my life over the last 22 years. Anyway, ok enjoy

Things Change // Things Stay the Same

As a child I never really knew about games before they were released. Occasionally I would get a game magazine as a gift or beg my mom to buy one when we were out shopping, but most games materialized in front of me, already finished, and in my hands. September of 2004 I vividly remember a kid in my class showing me a brand new Pokémon game. One that brought us back to Kanto, to relive the days of Red and Blue again, but for the Game Boy Advance. I saw the shiny new ways Viridian Forest was brought to life, the lush greens of the forest, and the beautiful sprites as the bugs populated the screen. I considered myself a big Pokémon fan around the playground, constantly talking about these pocket monsters, but even as a wise fifth grader, I couldn't believe there was a new Pokémon game, and I wasn't playing it. 

I rushed home from school that day and begged my grandma to buy it for me. Armed with every trick in the book I eventually got her with the "early birthday present" ask. Which, to be fair, it was only a few weeks early. But why am I telling you this story now? Why is any of this relevant? Well, I've been replaying Pokémon Leaf Green now that it's been released on the Nintendo Switch e-shop. Free from the confines of the Game Boy Advance it's now available for folks who want to experience Kanto and the Sevii Islands for the first time, or for old folks like me who want to relive a bit of their childhood. 

But it's a bit more than that for me this time. I spent a week playing it while taking care of the same Grandma who bought it for me 22 years ago. In-between making her meals, dispersing her meds, and sitting next to her and talking about life I twiddled away at the game, hunting for a shiny starter – an incredibly low odd chance of finding one fo the three starting Pokémon with a different color pallet. I was looking for a new challenge with Leaf Green this time around, having experienced Kanto so many times before, I was searching for something a bit more fruitful. So I dedicated myself to the shiny hunt. Constantly resetting the game hoping that my new beautiful Charmander would make an appearance. 

Spoiler alert, it never did. 

The hunt was indicative of the ways I've grown up in the last 22 years. The ways in which I was searching far and wide for a new challenge in the familiar. Never straying too far away from what I know best, but just enough of a push to give myself some room to grow.

I moved form Long Island to Brooklyn, a mere 45 minutes away. That’s probably equivalent to Red moving to Pewter City. Just far enough to feel accomplished but not too far from the familiar feeling of home. Sometimes a small step forward is big enough for the person you are now.

I sat on the floor of my old childhood bedroom – now my 94 year old grandmother's room – with my Switch 2 and Leaf Green, I tried explaining to her that she bought this game for me almost 22 years ago. She thought I meant this exact copy, and I sort of just let her have that one. My grandma knows nothing about video games, in fact, she thinks I make video games for a living so it was difficult to explain to her how impactful the series and the games were to me growing up, and how she was a part of all of this. 

She would often just smile and nod and tell me that she's happy that they make me happy, and honestly, that was enough for me. In-between resetting the same opening sequence over and over and over again we talked about the last twenty years. 

We talked about the passing of my grandfather, my graduations from high-school and college, moving out on my own, and my brother's diagnosis last year. The ways in which so much life has happened since then, and how we're both much different people than we were back then. Both older, more life experience under our belts. Most of her life is pretty sedentary these days. Existing on the upper floor of my parents house. I return back home a couple times a year to say hello and chat. To see how much my hometown has changed over the years, to stop in and check on friends who's faces started to become blurry. Memories of a place that used to be so familiar, but has felt so distant for so long.

The pizza place has a different name but serves the same pie. I still go to the Dunkin Donuts and card shop around the block. My favorite sandwich spot still has the Chicken Club I love, (even if the owners are different and kind of suck.) Much like Pallet Town, I know my way around pretty well, even if there's a new coat of paint on the walls around me. 

All of these thoughts, feelings, and emotions swirl around my brain as I click the A button over and over again on Pokémon Leaf Green. A game that hasn't changed a bit. A game that is encased like amber, frozen in time. A game that I still love 22 years later, even if everything around me is drastically different.

My grandmother was a major caretaker in my life. When my father would be working until midnight and my mother busy with PTA and other obligations, my grandmother was always around to help out. She bought me my copy of Leaf Green, she bought me my Gameboy SP. She never connected to video games but she connected with me, and the things I found value in. Even 22 years later that fact has never changed. Even if the roles have reversed and I take care of her now when needed.

I never found the shiny Charmander, and I may never, but that’s ok. Sometimes it’s just about trying the challenge in the first place. It’s about taking a new opportunity when it presents itself, it’s about moving forward.

My relationship to Pokémon has only grown over the years because of the support and love from people like my grandmother. I know she won't be around forever. So the moments I do get to talk with her are precious, and the memories I still make to this day I hold dear. Even if we can't go to the store together anymore, there are ways the games I've connected with her can still hold a special place. 

Pokémon Leaf Green has bookended my teens and twenties. Arguably the most pivotal moments of a person’s life. I had never revisited it until now and I’m not surprised to find It still hums along and gives me that warm feeling of home.

At the end of the day, I'm still the same kid sitting on my bedroom floor, wondering what life has for me in the tall grass.

Ok thanks for your time, hope you enjoyed